Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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