I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
