yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
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I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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