Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
