i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I want a musical about memes.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
