i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
