Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
