My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize