Acid is not a monday night drug
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
