Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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