New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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