is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
where are my eyebrows?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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