I hate your face
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
