Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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