North Korea, Best Korea!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
