2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
