I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
