So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
