i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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