We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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