Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize