The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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