Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
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i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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