honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
