Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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