AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize