Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
