i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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