Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
