Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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