barbara walters just said penis...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
