You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
how do flat chested girls get laid?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
