Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
