"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
