I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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