i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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