If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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