Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
