and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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