Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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