Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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