you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
