the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
