i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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