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You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
