I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
