I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder