Texts From Last Night

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  (661): View more from California

  So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"

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  (661): So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick" http://tfl.nu/zy8y
  Replies (7) Good night (1496) Bad night (604)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.

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  (919): Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself. http://tfl.nu/ufys
  Replies (46) Good night (733) Bad night (3397)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck

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  (804): dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck http://tfl.nu/zlj8
  Replies (46) Good night (1310) Bad night (7384)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.

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  (856): "must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls. http://tfl.nu/lfhc
  Replies (13) Good night (3484) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.

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  (404): They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans. http://tfl.nu/hk9w
  Replies (14) Good night (7426) Bad night (1095)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.

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  (402): 2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America. http://tfl.nu/5vl1
  Replies (4) Good night (1721) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm

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  (248): thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm http://tfl.nu/wrnu
  Replies (6) Good night (1957) Bad night (730)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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  (231): I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/yxdj
  Replies (5) Good night (1662) Bad night (814)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.

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  (540): I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time. http://tfl.nu/t7e6
  Replies (11) Good night (760) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch

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  (815): Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch http://tfl.nu/nhct
  Replies (3) Good night (874) Bad night (933)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.

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  (813): So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/qno1
  Replies (2) Good night (1148) Bad night (653)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.

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  (509): I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool. http://tfl.nu/4gt2
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (405)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Drugs are gluten free tho, right?

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  (508): Drugs are gluten free tho, right? http://tfl.nu/186e
  Replies (5) Good night (752) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."

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  (647): Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club." http://tfl.nu/exip
  Replies (4) Good night (298) Bad night (176)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan

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  (334): I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan http://tfl.nu/k05v
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (119)

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