she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.