I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Dick very happy bro
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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