so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.