Plan B is the new Plan A
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
