He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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