look no pants
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
