SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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