I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize