Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You ruined the universe
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
