Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize