I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
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I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
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We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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